The State of “0ptimystic”

Hey there everyone! Dylan here. I wanted to take a minute to update you guys on my future plans with “0ptimystic” and what I want to do with my content going forward. Don’t worry! I’m not shutting things down!(Why does everyone jump to that immediately!?) There’s just a lot that I need to update you guys on that a simple social media post won’t suffice.

I need to talk a little bit about my personal affairs before getting into my work and get a lil sappy here, but I won’t get into too much since a lot of this is private stuff that despite my open nature is still something I need to deal with in the comfort of my loved ones and my own personal efforts.

Many of you may not know that three years ago was the peak of my struggles with my psychological disorders. My depression and anxiety were so bad that I fell into a state of dysfunction and lost everything I had been working for up to that point in my life. I spent the next two years building myself back up and getting to a place of stability. When I finally felt like I was getting a foot hold, I had the proverbial rug ripped out from underneath me yet again. This was just over a year ago at this point. And while the fall I had a year ago wasn’t nearly as bad as the previous struggles I had, it’s given me a lot to think about with my mental, social, and physical health.

While I’m better now than I’ve ever been, there’s still quite a lot for me to get as close to 100% as I can be. Right now, I’m currently working towards that behind the scenes as I look for a new therapist that specializes in EMDR therapy for the sake of assisting me in overcoming my life long traumas. Not only that but I’m starting to open up to my family about what I’m going through which is not something we’ve ever really done before. So while dealing with mental illness is a factor in my every day life, this is a completely new world for them. Coaching them in how to accept what I bring up is going to be a challenge that is going to require patience on both our parts. So needless to say there’s a lot going on there.

Another aspects of my disorders has to deal with how my ADD affects not only my mood but my constant need for stimulation and new things. I’ve given talks on ADD before about how the general perception of ADD is not just “hyperactivity, impulsivity, and distract-ness” but also affects a person’s mood, social skills, self-perception, and a number of other factors that are too numerous to be listed here. It’s not what people think it is and it’s all those misrepresented factors that are affecting not only my person, but my content as well.

My energy levels and mood are in constant flux despite the fact that I actually keep a rock solid schedule on a day to day basis. At least, within my day to day life of work, streaming, and taking care of IRL obligations. But because of the biological factors of my disorders, my emotions and energy get thrown out of whack so I’m forced to adjust for those. Where I used to push through my feelings of anxiety or depression, I’m starting to avoid “suck it up” tactics and am starting to take the time I need to recuperate. You will all notice this in my stream cancellations and posts on my health as I admit to needing the day off. While streaming is actually oddly therapeutic and fulfilling for me, I still want to give my emotions the credence they deserve which is why I take that time off.

The bigger factor here is the one I really want to address. The one that’s the most relevant to you all, my content.

An all too common manifestation of ADD with those who try to actively, or subconsciously, channel the energy spikes that can be satiated through stimulation is the need to constantly have multiple projects or endeavors going at the same time. It’s one of the myriad ways someone with ADD can help assuage their brain’s need to be stimulated.

In my case, it’s all the different projects I keep going at the same time. Streaming, writing, reading, researching, volunteering, and so on. So many of you have commented on how it’s impressive, or even worrying, that I keep so many projects going at the same time. In some cases it’s actually been useful in helping me feel fulfilled and keeping my brain busy. But lately, it’s actually become problematic because I’m trying to do so many things at once that I hardly get anything done that I need to, let alone what I want to. And I mean this in the sense of my work with mental health volunteering, my content, and my personal life.

So what I’m going to be doing going forward is condensing and re-thinking my approach to different aspects of my content creation here and there in ways that make sense to me. Right now, I don’t have specifics on everything but I will give you a picture in my mind as it stands and update you on my social media as I always have.

Essentially, I’m going to stop forcing myself into avenues of content creation I don’t enjoy. A lot of this came out with trying to get my “Mythology of Gaming” series off the ground for the second time this last month and failing to do so. I planned on doing an educational show with uploading Youtube videos, and an accompanying article. I’ve never liked video editing. Even making a 3 minute video of me talking at the camera is a trying experience that takes an entire day to do and I’m never happy with. While I’d love to do actual educational content in the future, I don’t want to rush it or do something I don’t want to do. So for now, I’m going to stick to what I know and love, streaming and writing.

My infrequency can also be a problem. It’s one of the biggest momentum killers not only in personal growth as a content creators but in the numbers game as well. But I simply do not believe in making content for the sake of making content. I’d rather stream what I want to stream, when I want to stream it. Write what I want to write, when I want to write it. Rather than phone it in and deliver a disingenuous product to my followers. This is something I constantly have to tell myself as I often force myself into dead lines that do nothing but cause me anxiety that in turn makes my work and overall quality suffer.

I adore streaming as a more active way to connect with others. It’s easy to do and it’s a more genuine way to reach out on an active basis. In terms of writing, it’s simply something I love doing. It’s the easiest way for me to express myself and to organize my thoughts. Plus I just love it as a medium. I know its sort of a “dying” or rather underappreciated medium with the advent of streaming, bite sized videos, and “need to know” articles that give short 500 word write ups of happenings. My articles are quite long, averaging 2,500 words and sometimes pushing 4,000-5,000 but my mentality is one of thoroughness and quality so that I can effectively tackle a subject. The written word is something I deeply appreciate as a mode of expression. Regardless, I make my content because I want to, which I think is the most important factor in all this. So I’m going to keep doing what makes me happy.

And despite everything I just said about not starting new projects, I actually might have something else in the works that I’ve been keeping under wraps for a bit! Something I’ve been wanting to do for a while that’s more personal to me and I hope you will all enjoy. Still need to work out the logistics but it could be super fun!

Until then, I’ll see you guys on stream and I hope you enjoy the new stream of incoming articles I’ll be putting out as I start writing for the year!

And lastly, I just wanted to say thank you for all my supporters thus far. When I started writing for the Gamebolt 4 years ago I never thought I would be where I am now. Successfully being a small time, independent content creator. It’s a dream turned passion that’s slowly becoming a reality. One that I remind myself of constantly and am forever grateful for.

-Dylan “0pti”

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